[SOCCER] Iran and a Ban? Oh, Man.
Just in time for the New Year and with the World Cup only months away, German officials are closely considering banning Iran from the famed soccer championship. This comes shortly after Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made comments, somewhere along the line of, "Israel(and most likely its Jews) should be wiped off the map," "Israel should be moved into Europe," and "the Holocaust never happened." [more]
Hmm, he doesn't come off as the most intelligent man, does he? Especially with the World Cup being held in a country who was globally shamed for killing nearly 6 million Jews during that supposed Holocaust.
But, Mr. Ahmandinejad has bigger problems to worry about, like accusations of taking American diplomats hostage and the execution style murders of three men. Even more surprisingly, he is the same man who once said, "My mission is creating a role model of a modern, advanced, powerful and Islamic society" for Iran.
What an angry little man.
Ahh, I can see it now; "Iran: The Global Model for Intolerance, Terrorism, and Crimes Against Humanity. "
Will somebody please get to printing out bumper stickers and tourism T- shirts?!?
Related:
FIFA WORLD CUP 2006 [official site]
NEW PRESIDENT SEES IRAN AS A 'ROLE MODEL' [abc]
[Police Blotter] South American Superstars Edition
12/21/2005 Argentina's Mariano Puerto has been given an 8 year ban by the International Tennis Federation after testing positive for the cardiac stimulant after his French Open Final loss to Rafael Nadal. [more]World Anti-Doping Agency chief Dick Pound (really, thats his name) says, "You're dealing with somebody who's tested positive twice in less than two years and clearly doesn't think the rules apply to him."Meanwhile, Argentine Tennis Association president Enrique Morea says, "It's awful news because Puerta is a nice guy. They have ruined his career." Who's side are you on?-------------------------------------12/22/05 An angry, and suprisingly not so bloated, Diego Maradona was arrested at gunpoint and briefly detained at a Rio airport after making a scene shortly after he missed his flight from Brazil to Buenos Aries. After arguing with airline staff, he began breaking things in the airports VIP room. He was, of course, later released. Later, at a press conference Mr. Maradona recounted his experience as only Diego Maradona can. [more] 
--------------------------------------
12/27/05 After a year of shit (including a manslaughter trial, drug raid, and imprisonment) Edinho, the son of the classiest man in soccer, Pele, has finally entered drug rehab. From Sports Illustrated. "Edson Cholbi do Nascimento, 35, was released from prison on Dec. 17 and decided to seek treatment after consulting with Pele and his family. Edinho was among 50 people arrested on June 6 when police dismantled a drug gang based in Santos. He then admitted he was a drug user, but denied being a trafficker."
[ BREAKING] Former NFL'er Russel Killed in Crash
From the AP:
Former Raiders defense tackle Darrell Russell, 29, was killed in a crash early Thursday morning. He was a passenger in a car driven by former USC teammate Michael Paul Bastianelli that went out of control about 6 a.m. and hit a curb, tree, newsstand, fire hydrant, light pole, another tree and an unoccupied transit bus, Lt. Paul Vernon said.
Darrell was a promising talent, but after being suspended three times failing several drug tests, he previously tested positive for ecstacy, his career never recovered. [
full story]
[FOOTBALL] NFL Vikings Charged With "Lewd" Conduct
lewd : (lood) adj: 1. Preoccupied with sex and sexual desire; lustful. 2. Obscene; indecent.Four members of the Minnesota Vikings were charged today with indecent conduct, disorderly conduct and lewd or lascivious conduct for taking part in a October bawdy boat party on Lake Minnetonka. THE USUAL SUSPECTS:
Name: Bryant McKinnie
Street Name: Smiles
Crime: Put woman on bar in the lounge area, performed oral sex on her; later recieved oral sex from a women while sitting in a deck chair.
Punishment: If convicted, faces up to a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $10,000 fine on each count.
Name: Daunte Culpepper, Quarterback
Street Name: The Iceman
Crime: Got a lap dance from a naked woman in one boat's bar area; put his hands on her buttocks.
Punishment: If convicted, faces up to a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $10,000 fine on each count.
Name: Fred SmootStreet Name: Baby FaceWeapon: Used sex toy on two women on the floor in the lounge area. Punishment: If convicted, faces up to a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $10,000 fine on each count.
Name: Moe Williams
Street Name: Winky
Crime: Got a lap dance from a topless dancer and placed his hands on her breasts;
Punishment: If convicted, faces up to a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $10,000 fine on each count.
Oh, I'm sure their mothers are proud.More Info: CBS News
[BASKETBALL] Evil Strikes Young Ballers; Deoderant a Weapon
Several kiddies from Prarieville Middle School were arrested and charged with being involved in one of the worlds lamest hazing incidents. Allegedly, after basketball practice, one thirteen year-old was stuffed in a gym locker as "the vents were stuffed with paper and [aerisol]deodorant sprayed inside." Tragic.Eventually, the kid was freed some 30-40 minutes later and then ran home to his mother. She dropped the hammer, as all great moms would. Now, a total of seven kids(roughly aged 13-15) were arrested and charge. The supervising basketball coach was fired. And soccer, I mean, basketball moms everywhere are angry.[FULL STORY]
[SOCCER] Charlton Star Crashes Porshe into Porch, Denies Drugs
English Premier Leaue' s Charlton Althetic's Jay Bothroyd,23, claimed that "blacking out" caused him to smash his Porshe into the porch of a $2M home last night. After the wreck, he was arrested for suspicion of DUI, given a blood test, and released. There's no word on the results yet. Bothroyd denies the accusations, but as we all know, athletes aren't the most honest people. We'll have to wait and see. .. [full story]
[FOOTBALL] Police Blotter, College Edition
Dec 11, 2005; Los Angeles: UCLA kicker Justin Medlock was arrested for investigation of drunken driving and felony hit-and-run after allegedly leaving the scene of the accident, which left a member of the school's women's golf team, Hanna Jun, seriously injured, authorities said Sunday...[ full story]
Since when do football players hang out with women's golfers? Whatever happened to cheerleaders? Recently divorced teachers? Strippers?
Photo Courtesy of Bruin Report Online.-------------------------------------------
Dec 12, 2005; Denver: A Univ of Colo defensive tackle, Clint O'neal and his cross country runner girlfriend Jackie Zeigle are being accussed of sending a racist email. " O'Neal and Zeigle, who are both white, sent the typo-filled message to Greg Castro. It called Castro a "river rat" and "border hopper." The message suggested O'Neal would drag Castro behind his car. Zeigle told police she was retaliating against her teammate because he is obsessed with her and harasses her."... [full story]
Racists never make good spellers. Studies show that their one, lone tooth and southern drawl cause them to mispronounce their words, thus affecting their spelling. Photo courtesy of University of Colo. Athletics. By the way, thats Laura, Jackie's twin sister in the picture. Same thing.
-------- STORY OF THE WEEK --------
Dec 7, 2005; El Paso, TX: A former UTEP football player, Ibok Ibok, was arrested after police say he broke into a house, straddled the resident on his bed and shook him awake, then spent about an hour breaking furniture and punching holes in walls... [full story]
People, his name is Ibok Ibok. I couldn't find a picture of this man, but I'm sure he looks just as mythical as his name sounds.
--------------------------------------------
Dec 12, 2005; Pennsylvania: Indiana University of Pennsylvania football player, James Carson, was arrested early Sunday and is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and harassment in connection with the 2:12 a.m. incident at the off-campus apartment of the victim, Corey Allen Heiks.
James, who's listed as a freshman linebacker, has not played a single game for the university and has entirely too much time on his hands....[full story]
Photo courtesy of IUP Athletics.
-----------------------------------------
Dec 13, 2005; Missouri: Two Truman State University football players, Joshua D. Kilcrease, 21, and Darnell B. Williams, 21, were arrested Sunday for the assault of two men, Theodore Tarrant, kitchen manager of the Wooden Nickel, and Daniel Vogt, owner of the restaurant... [full story]
Unlike most crazy college football arrest stories, this one involves running middle-aged men over and stomping them into oblivion. Even worse, Darnell is a Justice Systems major. Irony, oh how it'll bite you in the ass.
Photos courtesy of Truman State Athletics.
[ WEEKS BADDEST] Cristiano Ronaldo
Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo is this week's baddest baller. He's angry, waxed to perfection(note the brows, note the thighs), and ready for a fight. First, he gets a miserable yellow during United's Champions League game against Portuguese side Benfica. Then, the Portuguese international gets substituted off and thanks his compadres for their boos and jeers by giving them a good ol' American flip as a token of his appreciation. Then, as if matters couldnt get worse, United ended up loosing the game 2-1, booting them out of the Champions League/Uefa Cup for the first time in A LONG TIME. My, how the mighty have fallen.
His teamates are calling him a showboat, he was benched for Uniteds latest game, and was forced to apologize for this:
He's hanging on by the skin of this teeth, or should I say, his newly veneered teeth:
Better luck next week.
RELATED NEWS:
Man Utd Players Furious With Showboating (tribalfootbal)
Benfica Complain to UEFA over Ronaldo Gesture (sports illustrated)
Ronaldo, O'Shea benched against Everton (the irish examiner)
Ronaldo Apologizes (worldfootballers.com)
[update] virus; apology in time for the holidays
Sorry its been so long. My computer was, in the words of those fabulous kids of MTV's Laguna Beach, "dun-zo." Meaning, it completely shut down on me, courtesy of a Trojan, and has still yet to be revived. For now i'm on anothers computer. We shall see how long this lasts.
[ SOCCER ] Player Arrested On Herion Charges in Africa
An unnamed soccer player was arrested while trying to leave a Kenyan airport with over SH300,000 (whatever that is) worth of herion. The herion was encased tiny pellets located in a small bag. Assuming the player had already swallowed more pellets, the Kenyan customs agents locked up the footballer in a special observation room, and gave him food. And, "Between November 14 and yesterday (Sunday), he had emitted 21 pellets which had heroin," Mr Nyakwaka said. "This makes a total of 30 pellets. The pellets were stuffed with heroin with a street value of Sh300,000."
Meaning,
He swallowed + They Fed + He Shit + They Found = JAILWhat have we learned? If you're gonna swallow herion pellets, do not, I repeat, DO NOT poop them out.
[
full story]
[ SOCCER ] Wayne Rooney's 6 Minutes, 22 Sec in Heaven
England may be the only place in the world where an ugly, fat, and cocky overpaid twenty year old soccer player can have his pick of women. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney was captured, well not really, having a six minute and 22 second rendezvous with a random, groupie type. Now, I say 'not really', because the closed circut television camera in England's Odyssey club's back kitchen was covered with a towel.
Well, that was after the camera already cought the lovely vixen, Emily Fountain, "waiting on her own in the white-tiled room, giggling excitedly and adjusting her boobs." Rooney then walked in, the camera was covered, and 6 minutes and 22 seconds later, the world was left baffled. Wayne eventually fessed up to only just "kissing and cuddling" Emily. Why do we care? Not because Wayne's already engaged to a golddigger extraordinaire, but simply because six minutes and twenty two seconds is not a figure to be proud of.
Emily Fountain. Her mother must be proud.Courteousy of The Sun
